Many people want to change, to turn their lives around, to become happy. Yet so few achieve it.
In a world where increasing materialism and skewed priorities colours peoples minds with confusion about what exactly it is that will make them truly happy, here's a list of ten ways to improve your life.
1. Be honest with yourself
You have to be able to be completely honest with yourself. Although denial and being dishonest with youself has a place (probably during a real calamity), in day to day life it is the mother of all personal disaster. Being honest with yourself is harder than you might think. Try going a day analysing why you feel certain feelings towards other people. Someone might spread what they know to probably be lies about another person due to jealousy - however, they may justify it by saying that "it's just what they were told"...
2. Really want to change
A lot of the time when people think that they want to change, they actually don't. You have to use the honesty discussed in step 1. Do you actually want to change? If not why not? There's no point going forward until you really want it.
3. Open your mind
The happiest people in this world are the ones who can look at what other people think and believe, and look at it objectively. Those who are bigoted, hidebound, illiberal, intolerant, narrow-minded will find it the most difficult to change because they have already made their mind up about why things are the way they are. This equally applies to what most people consider to be "facts". Just because the media, a teacher, or even a friend, tells you something is true, you don't have to believe it. Look things up, read what other people think, and most importantly make your own mind up. Even when you have made your mind up that, for example, evolution seems to be happening all around, be open to changing that opinion later. This, believe it or not, is the foundation of science, and the major difference to religion! Very few religions will tell you there is no absolute truth and that your idea of truth is itself evolving, although this is the basis of science. (Unfortunately, many scientists forget that this is true when it comes to the realm of spirituality also, demanding "proof". If this happens, just remind them that String Theory has yet to provide one testable hypothesis also, and thus it is more a "belief" than anything else. Does this make it invalid as a theory?)
4. Learn
This is a little more specific than just opening your mind. Those things that you now realise through being honest with yourself you need to change? Whether it's drugs, obessiveness, or whatever, learn about them. Read about them. Find out why you're addicted to cigarettes, or what the theories are behind OCD. Knowledge really is power. It is that simple.
5. Exercise
I know it's a cliche, but it's true: "Healthy body, healthy mind." Studies have shown that exercise is as effective as anti-depressants. And I can personally vouch for this standpoint also. Your body needs exercise, and people in their modern lives don't get enough. A great way to start exercising is to join a class - I go boxing and kickboxing every week. Having a coach will motivate you, and interacting with people in such an environment is extremely positive.
6. Eat & drink right
Most people never really think about what they're eating. Most fast/processed food is NOT good for you, no matter what the adverts tell you. Have you ever looked at a list of ingredients that goes into burger sauce in most large fast food "restaurants"? It's loooonnnnnggggg, and full of things you have never heard of that are made in a lab. You want to eat right? Learn to cook. It's not hard, and you will finally know what goes into your food. And I'm not talking about cooking pasta and using a stir in sauce. I'm talking about buying locally sourced (preferably organic) vegetables, fruit and meat from small farmers and cooking something from scratch. It's fun, and you can always freeze food to reheat later that week. There are many box services in the UK that deliver excellent food. I use Abel & Cole.
Microwaves are bad, I'm afraid. I don't own one, and never use them if I have another option.
You don't need to eat so much meat. Really. Buy high quality meat, and less of it. Know how the animal was raised, by who, and that it didn't suffer. This goes for eggs and milk too. Again, Abel & cole are pretty good for this, but a good butcher is even better. If you're going to eat meat, eggs, and milk you should be happy with how it gets to you. Take responsibility for what you eat!
Also, make sure you drink plenty of water throughout the day. Dehydration has many negatives, including poor work performance.
Eat things with a low glycemic load and low insulin index, such as oats, vegetables, and brown pasta. The idea is to keep yourself comfortably full all day, with good energy levels, and to not have sugar highs followed buy the inevitable sugar crash.
Have a proper breakfast!
Lastly, stay clear of caffeine, alcohol, junk food, sweets, cholocate, crisps, strong cheese, and anything else that might give you gout on a day to day basis. These things should be treats!
7. Form a philosophy
Think about your answers on the four big questions:
- Where did we come from?
- Why are we here?
- What are we supposed to do?
- What happens when we die?
When you come up with your initial set of answers you will feel a true progression within yourself. Hopefully you'll know what you want to do and why. And hopefully you will evolve those answers in future.
8. Relax
Relaxation is the cornerstone of good health. Good relaxation will prevent you getting too stressed. We all need some stress to act as a motivator - but too much stress is arguably the number one cause of illness in the "Western World" today. We all need to find a balance!
Take a break at work when you lose your ability to focus - don't force it! Go for a walk, chat to a friend, and come back to it when you feel able to do so, normally after 10 minutes or so.
Yoga is a great way to relax, while exercising at the same time. Go to a class, don't try doing it at home on your won. Yoga is one of those things that you need a proper instructor for!
Meditiation is also a great way to relax. This is something you can do on your own! Have a scout through Amazon for books or CDs.
Hypnosis is also proven to be able to help you relax considerably. I recommend Uncommon Knowledge, I feel that they're the best I have found in this field to date.
One of the best ways to relax is to laugh among friends. Why not go and see some comedy with friends? Maybe a meal? Have fun!
Stay clear of stimulants such as caffeine too, these don't really help in the long run, and you also become dependant upon them.
9. Get a plan
Get a diary. Think about how you are going to make your life better and then plan it for the next month or so. Going boxing? Yoga? Dinner with friends? Hypnotherapy? Support groups? Whatever your plan is, make it and stick to it as much as you can. Plan change, and it will happen!
Now think about your long term plan. Where do you want to be in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years? Do you know? If you don't that's ok, just take every week as it comes. But if you do have an idea, write your goals down somewhere and keep them somewhere safe. Now every month come back to your goals and see how you're doing. Remind yourself why you want to achieve these things... motivate yourself!
10. Detox and Reconnect
Get a week off work, and do two things.
First, go to see your family if you can. Reconnect with your family, talk to them. Just being around them can help. Remind yourself of where you came from and where you want to get to. Remind yourself these people love you no matter what.
Second, get out and into nature. Go for a walk in some woods, trek up a hill, canoe down a river - whatever takes your fancy. Remind yourself that you are a small integral part of this amazing world, just as a fox or a rabbit is. Remind yourself of humanity's place in the world. Remind yourself how beautiful and amazing nature is.
All this time, try to do what we have talked about in the other previous points - eat well, no drugs (inlcuding alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine), etc. etc. It will make a difference :o)
Oliver
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